How I deal with grief

  How I deal with grief. Lots of people say that they know how. But not all of the steps works for some people. So this is how I deal with grief.

  Everyone has someone who passed from their family. Some had animals pass. I've had more animals pass than someone in my family. So first is how I deal with animals passing.

  First let me tell you about my last dog that was put down. Roanin ( pronounced row-nin) was a yellow lab. But sometimes he thought he was a lap dog. He was funny. During storms he would shake. We had to give him "happy pills". Not too much though. If you were sick, he would be right next to you. He was a lovely dog. But that had to change. You see, he had a sickness that had no cure. He didn't eat, he didn't play, he did nothing but sit and sleep all day. It was really bad. When I found out, I thought it was my fault. If I would've told my parents that he was skinny, if only I told them something is wrong with him. We caught the sickness too late. So the day after Thanksgiving, you could tell. You could tell he was going. The cats were all around him. He looked up at you with sad eyes. Not puppy sad, but sad eyes. You wouldn't have known unless you saw him. So my mom set a appoiment for him. Her and my dad took him to the vet. I told my friend and we both cried. When they came back, it was like the Devil set his dark, black blanket on our house. I spent the whole day crying. But then, I wouldn't cry. No tear came to my eyes when I talked about him. I thought I went crazy. I thought I became heartless. That was until I read that some people don't want to realize that someone or something left them so their mind tells them that they are still here. So one day I came home from school. I saw a tin on the dining room table. I picked it up and saw "Roanin Sigler July 23 2007- November 25 2014". I looked into the living room to see that his bed was gone. No trace of dog in the house. Then bam, it hit me. He's gone. He left me. The only comfort during rainstorms. The only comfort when there is loud fireworks outside. He's gone. I cried. But I had to clear my face because we were going out. How I deal with it is looking at the good side. We don't have to get up in the middle of the night. I don't have to be scared he's going to bite me. We don't have dog fur all over the house. But that seems selfish. Doesn't it? I've been doing good. I haven't cried a lot about missing him. Sometimes I wish I can hold him and cry.